Thursday, October 29, 2020

Little Stories Of Sarcasm

                         
The Lifecycle of a planet

Big Bang... and a small planet called Earth was born. Plants and animals lived peacefully. Then there emerged a species called Sapiens. Initially they co-existed with nature. Later they became selfish and believed that they were superior to mother nature. They created varieties of Gods. For different Gods they invented different religions to worship. Earth was divided into pieces with little peace in each. Each piece chose their own leaders and made their own rules. To protect their own Gods and territories, they fought each other. They developed technology and reached the heavenly bodies. Gradually the technology became superior to humans and began to control them. Religions, fallacies, leaders and technology together made them insane and dud. They shattered their own people, destroyed everything by oppression. Thus vanished from Earth. 'Apocalypse'! Over the time Earth healed into peace again! Nature blossomed... And the cycle repeated.


The Tree Whisperes

That day the wood cutter was in the forest as usual cutting the trees. He overheard two birds on a tree. 
Bird 1: "They are destroying our homes"
Bird 2 : "Apparently, they are destroying their home too...!"


The Agreement of Fallacy

God : What am I supposed to do?
Humans : Protect us.
God : What will YOU do then?
Humans : We will protect you.
And then began wars!


Covid Drama

People : Oh God! Covid cases are at its peak!
Governments : Cut down the number of tests.
People : Thank God! Covid graph is declining.


Social Dilemma

What is social media?

Social media is a medium which moulds you to live in a virtual world so that you become more sociable virtually and less physically. Also your privacy will be secluded by sharing it with the entire world.


The Caste Rule Exceptions

The caste or colour system stands invalid and void at the below instance at any point of time, which is 'Rape'.
Remember, at all other instances the rules are valid and must be followed.


Best Actors

He and she wanted to become actors. They got married and fulfilled their dream!


What About...?

Person 1 : Did you see that video which I shared?
Person 2 : Hmm.. I did.
Person 1 : What about my comment?
Person 2 : Whataboutery!!


Slogan of World Leaders

If you can't suppress then oppress.


Final Judgement

People on Social media : Look at that girl! How dare she is wearing such cultureless dress. This is why rapes happen! Fear God, he will punish you kid!

People in real life : What is God doing? Doesn't he has eyes to see how much we suffer!? 

Meanwhile in Heaven, God : Arrey, wait! Am busy in taking the count of girls who are wearing short dress, laughing aloud, walking out post 6 p.m, showing attitude etc. Lemme finish it and I'll attend you.


The House Elf

"What is your mother?"
"My mother is a house elf, sorry housewife."
"Ha ha! Anyways, both are same!"


Brand New Courses

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Feminist 

Man : Why do you behave like a feminist??
Woman : Because you behave like a male chauvinist. 


Modern Theory Of Equality

We believe in equality, we also believe in patriarchy!


The Modern Marriage

Parent of girl : The groom party would be coming to see you.
Girl : I am getting married, I am moving to their house. I must go and see them first right? When are we going to see their house?
Parent : Me, your mom and few relatives will go next week to meet them. 
Girl : What's the logic in you all going leaving me?!! 
Parent : My dear, Customs and traditions are important than practicality even in this modern era!


Never-ending Saga Of Religion

When there were more than one religion they said, "We believe in one country, one religion". They fought each other and outcasted all the minorities. Then there was only one religion, people dreamt of a peaceful country. But then emerged caste system. Back to square one! The slogan changed to "One country, one caste!", then "one language"... and it went on...and on and on...


The Viral Journey

Truth : Bye Mom, let me begin my journey on Earth.
Fake news : Mom, I finished three rounds around the Earth!


Six Shades of Indian Matrimony(Applicable only for women)

White/Very Fair, Fair, Medium, Light Brown/wheatish, Moderate Brown, Dark.


Beautiful people!

People with ancient brains and modern equipments who live on Earth!
























Tuesday, October 13, 2020

The Real Superheroes

Once upon a time there lived a monster named Cancer. And you all know rest of the story. Many of us would have seen it's worst faces. I know it's not a pleasant topic to discuss. But life is not only about pleasant things right? It's the imperfect mixture. I believe these stories could act as aids to uplift ourselves in similar situations. They remind us about the significance of hope and endurance. 

The Unseen and Untold

In 1990's cancer was a terminal disease and was not so known to all in detail as now. When I was in 7th grade, all that I knew about it was, this illness was incurable. Till then I've never seen or heard anyone who had cancer. My life was surrounded with cancerless people and talks. 

That year, 7th grade; our Maths teacher entered into the class with so much grace. Math is my most hated subject till date. So I really don't remember most of my Math teachers as well. But in contrary, this one I will never ever! Brijith teacher, Maths-Grade VII. Her first impression on me was quite appealing. Somehow I liked her looks. Someone can not describe her as 'beautiful' but her unique style and grace made her stand out from others. She was in her 30's. Short, light skinned, not so fat but plumpy and curvy, straight silky hair always tied in to a bun, thin black spectacles, perfectly ironed and pinned saree pleats. Her curvy body structure made her flaunt in any type of saree. In total, she looked interesting to me. You know, for girls the looks of a teacher is more appealing than anything else. 

She never worn any kind of accessories but that did not lessen her grace at all. Afterall why gild the lilly! She was strict with students. And I was not that student who jostled to talk to the teachers unnecessarily. I was more of an ambivort. In the classroom I acted like an introvert especially in Math classes. But my urge to talk to her or atleast to have a feather touch was burning inside. I guess most of us would have had this feeling towards your favourite teacher. It's nothing but the mere admiration and curiosity. I rubbed my fingers gently on her saree pallu(the loose end) when she walked between the gangways of boys and girls in the class. Like me, most of the girl gangs from seventh grade were her ardent fans. 

One day during lunch break Neetha, my classmate ran into the classroom with some breaking news. She called out for the girls crew for a secret conference. She had gone to staff room to submit her Math homework and what she got from there was something shocking! Brijith teacher was a cancer survivor, breast cancer! Neetha was like a radio receiver. She caught news from air just like that and most of them turned out to be true. Hence no one disbelieved her. It seems Sujatha teacher and Brijith teacher were having a chit chat and she listened in to. It was the first time cancer came so near to me. In the next classes we began to observe her in detail. We didn't know about transplantation on those days. There were much discussions going on. Whatever it was, for me she was a real survivor, a super woman! Somebody who won against a real monster...!


All I Saw and Perceived...

This is the story of a young hero, a boy who fought the monster...

I was the eldest in my mother's family. Eldest children in a family usually have the virtue to be loved the most. And I can tell I am one of them. I had a minimum of 4 years difference with my other maternal cousins. My mother has one sister and one brother who are younger to her. My uncle has one son, and others one girl and one boy accordingly. All three boys are of same age including my brother. They three acted like three idiots always fighting with the only two girls, especially me. As I was much elder I usually didn't give up and fought against them with full power. I had big fights mostly with my uncle's son. I even have criminal records in family for twisting his small finger during one such fight. So, you can imagine the scenes. But, as and when we grew I was blessed with such lovely brothers. Our fights transformed into best friendships. 

Life went on and 16 years later, the youngest member of our family arrived as a gift. He was my uncle's second son. He was the cutest and naughtiest of all of us. He was loved by all the big brothers and sisters so much. Being the eldest and youngest we shared only one thing in common- we were the most loved in the entire family. When you are the first child in the family you are lucky enough to be loved so much by all because you are the first baby. The same happens when you are the youngest in your family especially if you are born with a huge age gap. 
I still remember those days when he was a toddler. He was quite naughty and never listened to anyone. If we really wanted to make him do something then we had to give an opposite instruction. One such incident happened like this. One day he threw all of our slippers outside which were lying on the front porch. My grandfather happened to see this and he warned him this way, "very good job honey! If I see any of those slippers on my porch again... that's it! I will show you ahhhh..." The moment he went inside, our hero ran outside and threw all the slippers back into the porch. I nearly died laughing that day! Another thing what he was interested in was spitting on face if you try to carry him. He was such a plumpy and  adorable pie that no one could resist lifting him up. He was an active boy who wanted to run around the house like a rat. I have got much spat on my face as I was so attracted to kids of that age. So we called him funny names like "thuppalaakshan" and all. That's all still stays in my memory. 

As I told earlier, we had a huge age gap of 16 years! As he grew up I was sent to hostel to hostel for my higher studies. I did not get much time to spend with him like my other cousins. He had a connection with all of them except me. Because, either they stayed close to each other's house or they used to have meet ups often. Also the family partition system literally partitioned our family. Though, we children still keep the bonding strong. But, the big siblings of the house fought each other like kids. Most of these cases, if you observe closely you will find something common. It is not the siblings who fight but it's their spouses! 

Our visits to my uncle's house got cut down. So, there were very less chances for me to get to know the young lad. But after my marriage whenever we came home I got to see all of them again. Me and my husband's family always visits all the relatives whenever it is possible. At times, we may feel relatives are so irritating and irrelevant. It's normal especially when you are young. No family is perfect. But it's always good to maintain relationships by keeping the limit in mind. Being too close and too far both are risky. You need to be in the middle of the bridge to have healthy relationships. Relationships are very fragile. If you are too close you may loose them. If you are too far they might loose you. So keep them in one arm distance; the safe zone. You are neither interfering in their lives nor you are allowing them to enter into yours. See, these things you need to learn from our elders, I mean from their mistakes ;). So that we can stop history repeating itself. 

Anyways, I was lucky enough to meet them all once again. They too never showed faces. But, when I met him years later he was not what I expected. I was looking for that same naughty boy whom I used to carry. I was therefore surprised to see a soft spoken, timid teenager. I was astonished to find a young mridangam aspirant (mridangam is a percussion instrument accompanied in Carnatic music ensemble). His mridangam skills were great and I even wished to dance along. Some wishes are untold and unfulfilled and that's what make them special.

I guess while he was in his 8th grade they spotted recurring head aches. In the beginning the local doctors ignored it as common ailment. But then one day it got seriously hit everyone when he didn't answer from his room for almost an hour. He said he slept off. That was the red flag. They approached another physician and conducted more tests. Later he was diagnosed with brain tumor. When I came to know about it through my mother and her sister, it was a shock of my life. Imagine about the family then. I didn't know much about that timid teenager but I did know the naughty three years old boy who threw slippers back to the porch. I didn't want to loose him. Though they had fights in family, everyone together prayed for him. Whenever my mom spoke about how his studies were affected, how the treatment was going on her voice trembled. Chemotherapies left him with a pale face, little hair and speech difficulties. But he fought well. He was back in action. He proceeded with his studies too. We were relieved that he has recovered. 

While, the monster reappeared in our family thrice again. My chitta(mother's sister) was diagnosed with Cervical cancer, her son-in-law with brain tumor and one of my second cousins of my same age with breast cancer. I really don't know what triggers this monster! No one knows exactly. Fortunately, they all are doing well and still around us as the epitomes of hope!


The Theory Of Unseen

All these times I was just an observer. I was just standing there and watching, nothing more I did. I have this problem which I don't like in me and I still don't know how to go about it. I am really bad at handling a situation of serious illness or death of someone close to me. I try to avoid talking about it. I fail to console someone or myself verbally in such circumstances. I prefer silence or to divert the topic. Surprisingly my pen could do the job which my tongue couldn't do. Anytime I could do this through my writings. That's what you are scrolling through now.

Meanwhile, I happened to build my own convenient theory when my lovable grandfather passed away. I was deeply connected with him more than anyone else. One of my undergraduation days woke me up with the message of his demise. With the telephone receiver hanging down I stood there like a statue tears rolling down, until my hostel warden felt something wrong and shook me hard. It was a sudden death; cardiac arrest. So it took time for me to digest the reality. They sent somebody to pick me up that day as my hostel was quite far. By the time I reached the body cremation was started. So, I couldn't get to see him for the last time. It felt bad at that moment but that made me experience something else. As I didn't see him lying down lifeless, in my mind he is still alive the way I wanted him to be. I had only those warm memories of him which were the happiest. Though the old house is demolished, sitting here far from my native I feel that he is still living there in that house fighting with grandma just to make us laugh... That's when I discovered my 'Theory of Unseen.' I realised that, if you don't get a chance to see someone in their last days of death you tend to forget the truth that they are no more. Your mind convinces your heart that the person is living somewhere happily ever after. 

From that time, I had tried to apply this theory whenever possible. I had not attended any funerals in my family later on; even my grandmother's! Staying far away always been helpful that way. Unavailability of tickets became excuses many times. Though I feel bad that moment, later I am happy about those pleasant memories which only I could cherish forever without any shadows of death. In my memories they all are healthy, happy, smiling forever. It may sound crazy and absurd for you. I am sure, after reading this many fingers are going to point out towards me. I remember sharing the idea of my theory once with my brother. He exclaimed and shot a question in turn, "Oh, will you not come to see me when I die?" I was thinking over it though I couldn't find an answer! Who knows who will bid a goodbye first, right? The most unpredictable thing in this world! I would rather prefer no one to see my frozen face as I fear it would take over all the happy moments and mostly my pale face would linger in your mind whenever you think of me. Of course, I don't like it that way! 


The Second Wave

Apparently the monster was cooking up a storm in his kitchen. We were worried to know that inspite of all the therapies and medications the monster had rooted those cells in his brain immutably. His brother who was working abroad flew back home leaving everything behind only to look after his little bro. The age gap of almost ten years made the elder one caring him like a small kid. They were like one soul ever. He was ready to go to any extent to save his little soul. Infection spread all over. Those hospital days must have been hard. He fought and fought for almost few months. Then he came back home dreadfully only to be in ventilator. No one was permitted to enter his room except palliative caretakers. My mom went to see him once. She stood near the door and peeped inside. She told me, "It was not him, definitely not. Am sure he is safe somewhere else!". I had no plans to visit him. I wanted to treasure that three year old naughty boy not the one whom my mother saw. 

And the day arrived he became the real superhero. He left us may be to defeat the monster in the other side of the world. He will be healthier and safer there. Twenty one years of journey ended there. When the message reached me, I had the same old experience once again. The one I had gone through years back in my hostel. 
I applied my 'Theory of Unseen' once more... Am letting it all go now. 

This is a memorabilia of my youngest brother who was unknown to me !

I know, this too was tad long like my previous one. Excuse me, for I write from my heart and there is quite a lot in there! When it gets heavier I pour it over here... :)










Friday, October 9, 2020

ഒരു ശോഭാ രാത്രി


ഇന്നലെ രാത്രി ഒരു 11.45 ന് ഉറക്കം വരാതെ കിടന്നപ്പോൾ വെറുതെ ഒന്ന് നടക്കാനിറങ്ങിയാലോ എന്നൊരു തോന്നൽ. അസമയത്തു ആവശ്യമില്ലാത്ത ഓരോരോ തോന്നലുകൾ കേറി വന്നോളും. ആ ഒരൊറ്റ തോന്നലിൽ ഇറങ്ങി അങ്ങ് പോന്നു. പാതി ഉറക്കത്തിലും സ്നേഹ സമ്പന്നനായ ഭർത്താവ്, "ഈ പാതിരാത്രി നടക്കാൻ പോണോ മോളെ?" എന്ന് നൂറു വട്ടം ചോദിച്ചതാ... കേട്ടില്ല. "വരുന്നുണ്ടെലേ വാ മനുഷ്യാ" എന്നും പറഞ്ഞ് ചാടിതുള്ളി ഇറങ്ങി. 

17th wing ന്റെ പടിയും കടന്ന് പാർക്കിന്റെ സൈഡിലൂടെ തണുത്ത കാറ്റത്ത് മൂളിപ്പാട്ടും പാടി നടക്കുമ്പോൾ "ശ്ശെടാ... അങ്ങേരിത് മിസ്സ് ചെയ്തല്ലോ" എന്നോർത്ത് ഉള്ളിൽ ചിരി പൊട്ടി. നടക്കാൻ അധികം ആളില്ല ഇന്ന്. ഒന്നോ രണ്ടോ പേർ വായുഗുളിക വാങ്ങാനെന്ന പോലെ പാഞ്ഞു പോയി. കിഴക്കു ഭാഗത്തുളള ഇല്ലിമുളം കാടും കടന്നു മുന്നോട്ട് പിന്നെയും നടന്നു. സെക്യൂരിറ്റി ചേട്ടനെ അടുത്തെങ്ങും കാൺമാനില്ല. അത് പിന്നെ ആവശ്യത്തിനു നോക്കിയാൽ കിട്ടുന്ന ഒന്നല്ലല്ലോ ശോഭയിൽ! പതിമൂന്നാം wing ലേക്ക് കടന്നപ്പോൾ മുതൽ നല്ല ഒരു സുഗന്ധം നാസാദ്വാരങ്ങളിലേക്ക് ഇരച്ചു കയറി. ഇൗ പാതിരാത്രി ഇതാരണപ്പാ പെർഫ്യൂം കട തുറന്നു വച്ചിരിക്കണത്! ആസ്വദിച്ചു നടന്നു പതിനാലിന്റെ മുന്നിൽ എത്തിയപ്പോ ദാണ്ടെ നിക്കണ് പഴയ കൂട്ടുകാരി മുന്നിൽ!! "എടീ... നീ ഇവിടെ ആണോ താമസം? " എന്ന് തുടങ്ങി പിന്നെ കുറച്ച് അല്ല ഇച്ചിരി അധികം നേരം പാതിരാ സൊറ പറഞ്ഞു ചിരിച്ചു. ഇയ്യോ! സമയം പന്ത്രണ്ടര കഴിഞ്ഞു. അങ്ങേരിപ്പോ രണ്ടുറക്കം കഴിഞ്ഞു കാണും. പോണെന് മുന്ന് നമുക്കൊരു സെൽഫി എടുത്താലോ? രണ്ടു പെണ്ണുങ്ങൾ ഒരുമിച്ച് കൂടിയാൽ സെൽഫി എടുക്കാണ്ട് പൂവാന്നെച്ചാ അതിൽ കൂടുതൽ സങ്കടം വേറെന്തുണ്ട്! തൊട്ടടുത്ത് കണ്ട മരത്തിന്റെ ചോട്ടിൽ നിന്ന് ഒരു സെൽഫീം എടുത്തു അവളോട് ടാറ്റാ പറഞ്ഞു തിരിച്ചോടി വീട്ടിൽക്കേറി. 

കൂട്ടുകാരിയെ കണ്ട വിശേഷം പറയാൻ ഉറങ്ങിക്കിടന്ന കണവനെ കുത്തി എണീപ്പിച്ചു മൊബൈലിലെ സെൽഫി കാണിക്കാൻ എടുത്തതും എന്റെ ഉള്ളിലൊരു കൊള്ളിയാൻ മിന്നി!! എന്റെ പൊന്നും കുരിശു മാതാവേ... സെൽഫിയിൽ പ്രിയപ്പെട്ട കൂട്ടുകാരിയുടെ ഭാഗത്ത് വെറും വായു മാത്രം! ഇവളെവിടെപോയി?!! എനിക്ക് കയ്യും കാലും വിറക്കാൻ തുടങ്ങി. ദേ, മനുഷ്യനേ ഇങ്ങോട്ട് നോക്കിക്കേ... അങ്ങേർക്ക് ഒറങ്ങാൻ കണ്ട നേരം. കണ്ണും തിരുമ്മി എണീറ്റ് ഫോട്ടോ നോക്കി അങ്ങേരു പറഞ്ഞത് കേട്ട് ഞാൻ, പടച്ചോനെ... ഇങ്ങള് കാത്തോലീന്നും പറഞ്ഞു കട്ടിലേന്നൊരു ചാട്ടം. എന്താ പുള്ളി പറഞ്ഞെന്ന് കേൾക്കണോ? "പാതിരാത്രി പാലമരത്തിന്റെ ചോട്ടിൽ നിന്ന് തന്നെ വേണം സെൽഫി എടുക്കാൻ. അല്ലാ, കൂട്ടുകാരി എവിടെ പോയി?" !!! അപ്പോ അത് യക്ഷിമണം ആയിരുന്നോ എന്റെ ഭഗവതീ!! 
അവളെ ഫോൺ വിളിച്ച് ചോദിക്കാം എന്ന് വച്ചാ, ഫോൺ നമ്പർ പോയിട്ട് ഒരു തെങ്ങാക്കൊലേം എന്റെ കയ്യിൽ ഇല്ല. അപ്പോഴേ, ആ വഴി നടക്കുമ്പോ നിങ്ങളൊക്കെ തോടിന്റെ വക്കത്ത് പൂത്തു നിൽക്കണ പാല ചേച്ചിയെ ഒന്ന് സൂക്ഷിക്കണത് നല്ലതാ..!

ഏഴിലം പാല പൂത്തു ... പൂമരങ്ങൾ കുട പിടിച്ചു... ശോഭ ഡ്രീം ഏകേഴ്‌സിൽ! 13, 14 wing-ലുള്ളവർക്ക് ഒരു യക്ഷി മണം അടിക്കുന്നുണ്ടോ?

Friday, October 2, 2020

രാഷ്ട്രീയം

ആനവണ്ടി തൻ പച്ച സീറ്റിനടിയിൽ 
ഒളിപ്പിച്ചു വച്ചൊരു വടിവാളുമോങ്ങി എന്നഗ്രജനൊരു വെളിച്ചപ്പാട് പോൽ ഓടിയതായിരുന്നെന്‍റെ രാഷ്ട്രീയം

ഓടുന്ന തീവണ്ടി തൻ ഏതോ
ബോഗിയിൽ തിരഞ്ഞു നീയന്നേതോ 
ഒരു തല തല്ലിപ്പൊളിച്ചതായിരുന്നെന്‍റെ രാഷ്ട്രീയം

ഇല്ലാത്ത ക്ലാസുകൾ ഇല്ലെന്നു
ചൊല്ലിയാ ജാഥ തന്നറ്റത്ത് നീ
കൊടികൾ പിടിച്ചു കൈ ജയ്കൾ 
വിളിച്ചതായിരുന്നെന്റെ രാഷ്ട്രീയം

ചുവപ്പും നീലയും കൊടികൾ തൻ
യുദ്ധത്തിനവസാനം വെള്ള പുതപ്പിച്ചു
കിടത്തിയൊരെൻ ജീവനാം ജ്യേഷ്ഠനെ കണ്ട നാൾ അവസാനിച്ചതാണെന്‍റെ രാഷ്ട്രീയം!!








Little Stories Of Sarcasm

                          The Lifecycle of a planet Big Bang ... and a small planet called Earth was born. Plants and animals lived peaceful...